Forgiving your mother

Mothers are just people. We don’t wear capes or walk on water. We make mistakes. We are human beings that have good days and bad ones. Sometimes we get things right and sometimes we get them really, really wrong. Like other people, mothers struggle with insecurity, the burden of mistakes, unrealized dreams and wounds related to childhood trauma. The job of adult children is to recognize that the idea of mothers as superhuman is a myth. Once we recognize that we are dealing with people who have the same challenges and shortcomings we all do, it can be easier to understand that mothers usually fall short not because they don’t love us enough, but because their challenges can make it hard for them to act on their love the way we need to see or feel it. We can decide to accept our mothers at each stage of their development. Yes, mothers are still growing and learning life lessons, too. We have to remember that all human beings, including mothers, are a work in progress. Most of the time mothers do the best they can. Just remember that best looks different on different days and under different circumstances. Understanding that can be the first step on the path to forgiveness.

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