Link to short, guided meditation to gently remind you that you are enough exactly as you are. No striving or flailing in “not enoughness” required. You are enough right now, just as you are. Listen here…. I am enough
Link to short, guided meditation to gently remind you that you are enough exactly as you are. No striving or flailing in “not enoughness” required. You are enough right now, just as you are. Listen here…. I am enough
If you always put yourself last others will follow your example. I sometimes offer this response when I hear another woman talk about giving – time, money, energy – even though it’s clear she feels spent and really wants to ask something for herself instead. This is our common affliction, selflessness turned dangerously against the self.
Caring for myself is not self-indulgence it is an act of political warfare – Audre Lorde.
Choosing self-care requires that we grant ourselves the authority to behave as if we matter. This is daring and courageous because at every turn we have been told we don’t matter – at least not for our own sake, or in relationship to ourselves alone. Women, and women of color especially, are expected to give care and pleasure. We have been told they are not ours to take.
Yet take them (them being deep and abiding care and pleasure in and for ourselves) we must. Now. Starting today.
I’m not just talking about pampering, although a nice massage or pedicure is good. I’m talking about revolutionary self-care, which is more about living with some authenticity. Nurturing the woman within. Abandoning airless hiding places and showing up as our real selves. Listening for our own voices and honoring our honest human needs. Saying yes only when we really mean it. Being bold enough to ask for what we want.
This kind of self-care is about bypassing the busyness badge. There is nothing wrong with a busy schedule, but when we always wear exhaustion – physical, mental or emotional – as a badge of honor, it is definitely time for a time out. How should we use the time? However we want, excuses or guilt not required.
Perhaps you’re thinking…. Are you nuts? We are in crisis mode, there isn’t time for self-care!!!
I’m not suggesting a bubble bath while the house is burning. Only recognition that all resources, including our physical, mental and emotional energy, are finite. Willfully depleting our resources with no plan for restoration eventually leads to a different kind of crisis – feeling bombed out within. Instead, we must learn to take refuge in a regular, committed practice of self-care.
Share the struggle and make the time
We are all in this together; those we are fighting for and with – everyone has something to contribute. Our job is to recognize the agency of our compatriots. Also, to find innate value in ourselves (not based on what we do but just because we are), and stake a claim to identity beyond hero or martyr. It isn’t actually true as often as we’d like to think that doom is the inevitable consequence of our personal failure to ride in on a white horse. Sometimes we can give so much time and effort rescuing that we have nothing left, and we end up losing ourselves – surrendering good health, joy, dream time, clarity and spontaneity.
Of course our work matters. That’s why we do it. What also matters is finding balance. How is that possible when our work isn’t just a job but a life mission? We have to remember that we (each and every one of us) are included in the mission. We are equally as deserving of the freedom, peace, equality, opportunity and power as every other person we are fighting for and with. We must fight just as hard for ourselves.
Here are some simple self-care strategies to try today:
Caring for ourselves is not self-indulgence. Caring for ourselves is self-love. It is what we must do, not only because we are change makers and want to bring our best selves to this work but also, maybe even more so, because good physical, mental and emotional health require that we create space to honor ourselves and our own human needs. When we always put ourselves last others will follow our example…let’s set a better example.
From: 4 Questions to Foster Your Authentic Self
By Carley Hauck | Mindful.org/October 12, 2016
February | |
Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | Saturday |
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | |||
Eat slowly with attention to the taste and texture of your food. | Meditate for 6 minutes | Do a breast self-exam. Visit webmd.com for directions | Download a free habit forming app such as Productive or Strides | |||
5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
Write out one goal for the month. Break it into weekly steps. | Enjoy 5 minutes of gentle stretching before bed. | Turn your phone off for one hour | Be still and notice any pleasant sensations inside your body | Meditate for 7 minutes | Tell at least one supportive person about your goal and why it’s important. | Try an online exercise or yoga workout |
12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
Clear all clutter from a purse, closet, car or drawer. | Try to see the point of view of someone you don’t like or agree with. | Make a list of everything you love about you. Go ahead, don’t be shy! | Do something you need to do, but don’t want to do. You’ll be glad you did. | Meditate for 8 minutes | Do something that requires you to call on your courage. You are brave and strong. | Monitor your credit at mybankrate.com or creditkarma.com. |
19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
Offer one random act of kindness. | Skip T.V. tonight and enjoy a good book or magazine. | Say to yourself, may I be at ease each time you wash your hands today. | Eat only when you are hungry | Meditate for 9 minutes | Practice being patient and gentle with yourself. | Go for a walk or hike. |
26 | 27 | 28 | ||||
Visit atlantahabitat.org to learn about home ownership | Write down three things that went right today. | Forgive yourself for any mistakes you made and plan to try again tomorrow. | I really don’t think life is about the I-could-have-beens. Life is only about the I-tried-to-do. I don’t mind the failure but I can’t imagine that I’d forgive myself if I didn’t try.
Nikki Giovanni
The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself. Mark Twain
You’re always with yourself so you might as well enjoy the company. Diane Von Furstenberg |
|||
She who trims herself to suit everybody will soon whittle herself away. Unknown
Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can. Arthur Ashe |
“God said, Love your enemy, so I obeyed and loved myself.” Khalil Gibran
Have a peaceful day.
If you think about it, the degree in which our world is stitched together with loving-kindness is extraordinary. To a surprising extent, accomplishing the simplest daily tasks requires that most people we encounter will be relatively decent, even kind. This network of decency is so close at hand, so mundane and ordinary, that it is mostly invisible to us. Even in the midst of the most dire conditions, there are countless examples of people who still manage to love, share, help one another, smile, and laugh.
Judy Lief
“One of the finest results of meditation is the increased gap between stimulus and response. That gap before I react gives me time to notice my habitual patterns and sometimes even decide whether to stay a slave to them or break loose (when this happens, the feeling is liberating – like getting naked in public).” Brent R. Oliver